Jacob Elordi is 6’5”, because apparently that matters.
Props to his PR team, because popular culture is presently awash with Jacob Elordi – from Saltburn, to Priscilla, to Saturday Night Live. He’s even starring in The Sweet East, where he acts alongside Indie sweetheart Ayo Edibiri.
My only question: why? What did Jacob Elordi do? I’ll tell you what he did. He got born white, and he grew really tall. I’m sorry! I’m sure he’s a nice person. He did go to private school in Melbourne, though. Make of it what you will.
On The Tonight Show a couple of months ago, Jimmy Fallon asked Elordi how tall he was. He commented that he was 6’5”, or 196cm, to which the audience, unbelievably, applauded.
This is where we’re at, you guys. I thought we were past the point where being a tall white man was enough for you to be on TV, but maybe the pandemic has made our brains revert back to their more primordial selves.
An old New York Times piece says that height and cultural desirability have gone hand in hand for a while – Tacitus, a Roman Historian, associated height with strength and moral virtue. And in the 1700s, King Frederick William of Prussia was extremely into recruiting (and breeding!?!?) very tall men, or “Lange Kierls”. You had to be 6’2”, at least, to join. Hilariously, the army never actually fought in any battles.
Is this why Elordi is currently inescapable in popular culture? Despite, respectfully, the worst SNL monologue I’ve ever seen, and an attempt to talk about Jack Kerouac on The Kelly Clarkson Show armed with pseudo intellect up the wazoo. (It has to be seen to be believed, because what the fuck.)
Obviously, I’m not claiming that he doesn’t have talents beyond being tall. Being tall isn’t enough to get you into Hollywood, to get you in a room with Sofia Coppola. Unless? I’m kidding. But would a 5’10” Jacob Elordi have commanded the same degree of respect, this kind of breathless worship, for someone who doesn’t really seem that interesting?
Probably, probably, probably not.